A Comedy To Die For – Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck poster
Yeah, they’re back with another
spoof movie…

In the closing weeks of one of the lamest summer movie seasons in recent memory,  it’s probably too optimistic to expect one, just one, quality film to end this summer on a positive note.   Nah, we can’t expect miracles, but we can expect another classic comedy brought  to us by those spoof auteurs Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

This time out the  target is the Twilight franchise, along with anything that’s currently popular in pop  culture at the moment.   Needless to say, these spoof films are irritating to a lot of moviegoers (myself  included). Unfortunately they make money, so the likelihood of them finally putting  an end to these is slim.

I’ve already accepted the fact that I’ll most likely be hearing  about a new spoof film again eventually. Spoof/Parody films are no longer thought of  as classic comedies, like Airplane! or Blazing Saddles. Younger audiences associate  the term ‘spoof film with Epic Movie, Date Movie or Meet The Spartans. They’re  really getting shortchanged and the spoof film genre has really hit the bottom of the  cinematic barrel.

In case you were wondering, nope I won’t be seeing it (or have ever seen it). I just don’t want to waste my time on this so-called comedy. Plus, I really have no interest or knowledge about Twilight so seeing a spoof of it seems like a waste. Even though from my experience these spoof films  Friedberg and Seltzer specialize in never focus on the supposed target their planning to spoof. They never seem to have many ideas  about how to do that, so instead they fill the rest of the film with stupid sight gags, lame dance numbers, boring celebrity impressionists  and characters getting hit in the head.

I get it! I get it!

These films are simply a string of random references to whatever’s popular in pop culture at the moment. The odd thing is that there’s  no spin or humor to any of it. In these films the comedy comes from just the fact that say, the Jersey Shore cast and Lady Gaga show  up…..and that’s it. They don’t do anything. There’s no joke about them. The appearance of look alikes is supposed to be enough for  a knee slapping moment. Just knowing that these two guys had a hand in any film…..well it’s not exactly a selling point. It’s kind of  just the opposite in fact!

What still irritates me about these….directors, is that there are much more creative, and funny spoofs of Twilight right on YouTube.  And the people who made them don’t have major studios releasing their stuff. I don’t understand how these guys continue working.  It seems like a real crime.   I will say despite at how horrible I think these films are and the disgust I feel that these filmmakers still gain employment and money  out of these lazy efforts, there is still one thing I like when these films come out – the anger by movie fans.

Aaron Seltzer Jason Friedberg
Seltzer and Friedberg hard at work

There seems to be a great number of film lovers that loudly express how much they dislike these films, plead that they will go away and Seltzer and Friedberg  switch careers. These rants have almost become an inevitable accompaniment with the release of the latest Friedberg/Seltzer effort.  Their loud, creative, colorful language is a lot of fun to listen to. I’m sure these rants are much more entertaining than anything in the actual films.

I have yet to ever see Seltzer and Friedberg give any kind of interview to promote their films. There’s not really any photos of them or  much information about them in general. I’ll consistently see only one photo of these two guys used over and over again. It’s kind of  odd. It’s almost like they’re intentionally avoiding the spotlight. Maybe for good reason. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day it comes  out these guys are simply not real and these films were put together by nameless others. Seltzer and Friedberg simply became a new  anonymous pseudonym like Alan Smithee.

Unfortunately, during the first week of it’s release Vampires Suck has grossed $12 million dollars and hit number two at the weekly  box office. So, I hope all those Ranters save up some energy for yet another eventual diatribe. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing another  spoof movie real soon and I’ll be ready to listen to you guys and shake my head right along with you. I don’t think I’ll ever be breaking  my precedent of always skipping the latest Seltzer and Friedberg film.

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