Spreading Some Good Cheer at the DMV

The dreaded DMV

It was time to renew the old driver’s license. So being the law-abiding citizen I am and one who’s always willing to have a new nifty thing to stick in his wallet, I headed down to the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Contrary to the popular cliché of having to stand in a line filled with stinky people for hours, it was an essentially fast errand. I think I was in and out of there within fifteen minutes. Really nice!

I was greeted by this elderly woman at the front desk who asked me for my documents to prove who I was. I brought my birth certificate, passport and current license. As fellow NJ drivers know, each document you bring has a point value and you have to have a certain number of points to get your license. Maybe they do this everywhere now. I don’t know. But according to my math and the stuff I brought I was in the clear.

The lady then says “Can I have them?” I immediately reply “Only if you promise to give them back!” She liked that joke and started laughing. I think they’re used to people coming in and only complaining to them, so a dumb joke is greeted with welcoming arms.

She gave me a number, then instructed me to take a seat and wait for my number to be called. Then she added, “I’m not sure what number they’re at right now.” I look at my card and I was number forty. Looking around I didn’t see any big clock indicating what number they were up to, so I imagined it would be like fifteen or something. Suddenly, they make the announcement – “Number thirty-eight, please come to window two.”

My spirits lifted.

After sitting for a few minutes I was up. I handed the guy my stuff, signed some junk and paid. He then asked me if I wanted to reuse my current picture or would I prefer to have a new one taken. So wanting to get the full treatment I said let’s go for broke!

I stepped back into the mugshot spot and he snapped away. I like how everything’s digital and now you get to see your new picture immediately. He asked what I thought of it and if I wanted to take another one. I started at it for a moment and said, “Let’s just go with it. It’s not going to get any better.” He liked that joke and started laughing. Like I said, not a lot of comedy going on at the DMV.

I had to sit back down and wait for my new license to be made and that took about three more minutes. He called me, handed over the new sparkly license and I was done. I passed by the elderly lady when I was leaving, she said bye, I wished her the standard ‘Have A Nice Day’ and I was outta there!

It was a very quick and painless errand. No problems whatsoever. The only bad thing I could say was getting solicited as soon as I walked out the door by someone asking for spare change. But I guess I would rather have that then standing in a line for three hours.

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