Steven Seagal: Lawman Returns!

Four years ago a new reality series was unleashed upon the unsuspecting public. Between making cinematic action movies an actor on his off-hours would spend time as a reserve sheriff in New Orleans. With cameras following him as he helped clean up the streets and protect its citizens Steven Seagal: Lawman would become one of the most watched series’ in A&E history. Everyone would surely want to continue with this despite the criticism the show and Seagal were getting.

Two short seasons later the show would disappear. This might have had something to do with a sexual harassment lawsuit lobbed at Seagal by his former personal assistant. It would be somewhat odd having someone profess their protection of the law while being embroiled in accusations of some pretty unlawful and unethical behavior.

Steven Seagal Lawman
Seagal returns to uphold the law

Fortunately all that got cleared up. While his action-star pals were busy making Expendables movies, Seagal put his badge back on, his ‘new beat’ would become Arizona and Steven Seagal: Lawman has returned for season three on the Reelz channel. Now fans can buckle up for some more law enforcement by Seagal!!!

First time around I found this show pretty funny. It is a very lousy program, there’s no getting around it. It was incredibly hokey and was basically a COPS-ripoff. All the arresting of undershirt-wearing law breakers with blurred out faces is something we’ve seen thousands of times before and it’s gotten very old at this point.

The fun of it in this show is watching the ultra-serious Seagal take charge and offer up philosophizing about the good and bad and acting as just one of the boys with this all being presented as ‘just another day at the office’. Let’s say this is a completely accurate portrayal of Seagal’s time spent cruising the streets with local police (which I never did), it all still came off very staged and exaggerated to the point where I couldn’t help but laugh.

The New Orleans setting offered up some fun diversions to Seagal busting criminals. Along with sitting around with his team joking around, Seagal would take to the stage every now and then of a local bar and belt out some tunes. It all really started to play like some kind of clichéd Seagal action movie. Seagal would even slip into a Cajun accent occasionally! How could anyone take it serious?

Seagal seems to always be wearing this camouflage outfit

Now Seagal is patrolling around Arizona. I’m not sure exactly as to why this has happened. If this had something to do with the lawsuits against him, if the New Orleans cops didn’t want to take anymore flak catering to a movie star or what. But now Seagal is doing the same cop-stuff only this time the background is much more blah.

I’ve only stumbled onto two episodes of this new season and they were just as eye-rolling as the previous seasons. Going to suspects homes with arrest warrants, Seagal and his team patrolling the late night streets, occasional references to Seagals action movies. One cop begins telling Seagal he was watching Under Siege the night before, a little friendly joking commences with Seagal replying “I should have won an award for that movie”.

At one point Seagal decides to tutor his fellow officers with acting lessons. This is meant to help them get into character and be more convincing when they have to fake out suspects.

The idea of Seagal giving acting lessons is too obvious a joke to even make. This acting session ends with a phony phone call to an officer’s wife trying to convince her her husband just purchased an expensive TV. I don’t think this is official police training, only exclusive ‘Seagal Training’.

Steven Seagal reality show
Steven Seagal: Lawman

My favorite element to this show in its previous seasons is something what I referred to as ‘Seagal-Vision’. And I’m happy to say it returns in season three. As the team of cops are at a suspects door Seagal catches a glimpse of a gun and the show uses this slo-mo, effect of Seagal looking and a close-up of the gun to suggest a sixth sense power he has. It’s like Seagal’s Spidey Sense!

So for any fans of bad TV who need to kill thirty minutes during the evening look for this new batch of shows. I’m not sure if this will reach season four. I’m actually surprised it’s reached three seasons. Admittedly the novelty of this idea has worn out and it’s not as amusing as the first time it showed up, but there’s enough channels around today that they need to fill up airtime with something so why not Steven Seagal: Lawman!


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2 Responses

  1. Capt Nemo says:

    Holy Crap! You mean the music career DIDN'T pan out!

    Glad to see no one has limited his access to the buffet table lately.

    I doubt he'll be doing the Expendable's thing. The rumor is he's had a falling out with the studio that produces those films. So the idea of seeing Stallone, Seagal, and Arnold in the same movie is practically nill. Which is a shame because a Seagal and Jet Li fight is long overdue.

    There was a time I was a fan of his. But like many other artists (I use the term loosely) he didn't grasp why people wanted to see his films. He got into this Zen warrior nonsense when people wanted to see him kick ass. And worse, he started to write his own projects when his career went to direct-to-video. That move gave new definitions to the word incoherent.

    But a question for the group: Why did the martial arts movie die off? If you think about it. The kind of movies that Segal made went the way of video store back in the mid-ninties. The only real audience for them were African American males which is why there was a period were they would pair old action stars with rappers (remember Exit Wounds). But even those were so god awful they now make them comedies.

    Unlike erotic films, we can't blame the internet. What happened?

  2. Being a Stevan Seagal fan, it's nice to see him weekly on tv.
    I don't believe it's fake, now I believe they do add some things like the vision to see a gun.
    But hey if it helps the series, then I am all in for it.
    But to sit there and trash him is just childish in so many ways.
    Are you jealous that it's not you in the series and making the bucks and having the fame?
    I think it is, otherwise, why mention these things.
    For a man to keep being a star and his movies making so much money, well he is doing something right.
    And with fame he will get trashed and there is always a open door to someone to try and sue him, comes with fame now days.
    But in all honesty, grow up.
    I would rather have a crook watch his movies then breaking into a home or robbing a store.
    So if you look at the big picture of fame, it works in many ways.

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