Summer Movies – June 2012

Snow White and the Huntsman Kristen Stewart Chris Hemsworth
Snow White and The Huntsman
Exploring the Dark Fores
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June used to be the start of the summer movie season, but in the past few years it has been expanded to the month of May. Even April is starting to creep in and qualify for the season and is becoming a a month to release bigger, notable fan-friendly films. I predict eventually Hollywood will realize any time of year can be an ideal moment to release a crowd-pleasing film.

Until that hammer falls on their head though, June looks the most promising. Summer arrives, the kids are out of school and everyone is hankering to sit in an air-conditioned theater and waiting to be dazzled. So what do we have in store for us?

Snow White and the Huntsman – June 1, 2012 

Kristen Stewart, riding her Twilight-fame stars as Snow White in this darker spin on the classic fairy tale. She, along with Chris Hemsworth’s ‘Huntsman’, have to navigate the Dark Forests, engage in epic battle sequences and defeat the evil Queen played by Charlize Theron.

This looks to be hoping to target the young teen girls who are fans of Stewart. Her playing a strong heroine who handles her own action and doesn’t wait for Prince Charming to do it can be a real plus.

The movie also can attract those who enjoy the CGI battles and action. It’s looking like Clash of the Titans– type of stuff. Sort of a Lord of the Rings-light kind of film with Girl Power in the center of it. Could this be a potentially perfect date movie that will be a hit with both girls and boys? And remember guys, Thor plays the Huntsman!

Charlize Theron Snow White and the Huntsman
Theron looking hot and evil!

Based on the trailer it does offer up some pretty cool, dark imagery. Those fans of the Disney version should probably avoid this. I don’t see Bashful or Dopey showing up here. And it does look much better than the previous Snow White film Mirror Mirror with Juila Roberts. Theron looks potentially to be some dastardly fun as the evil queen. Unless I hear some real positive word of mouth though, I think I can wait for it on DVD.

Piranha 3DD

Killer fish invade a water park

In 2010 Piranha 3D was released. Looking like a pretty dismal low-rent production, with the most unconvincing killer fish you ever saw it resulted in a pretty entertaining film. I was surprised at how much I liked it.

It didn’t try to be anything more than what it was – a killer fish picture. It had gory, gruesome deaths, scantily clad bikini wearing babes and it’s share of cheesy over-the-top lines. Plus, it had a pretty decent cast all knowing full well what the film was, embracing it and just trying to make it as much fun for its niche audience as possible.

Now the Piranha franchise is back with a suggestive title. Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd return (how Rhames is back I’m not sure, but if the film doesn’t care why should I). Joining the water fun is Gary Busey, David Koechner, David Hasselhoff and a bevy of well-endowed, appetizing looking women for our sharp-toothed fishies.

In 3D no less!

I got to be honest, this looks pretty stupid. The first one was silly, but it was fun. It was something of a refreshing B-movie. This time around it looks like the film is being much more arrogant and trying much harder to be goofy. Despite the ridiculous feeding frenzy of activity there was an element of playing it a tad bit straight in the first one.

Most of the actors were trying to sell the story and be serious. Now that’s looks to be out the window. Hasslehoff looks to be mugging for the camera, the water park setting is pretty asinine (even for such an absurd movie) and the jiggle factor is way too blatant.

I don’t know…I don’t know how else to explain my reaction to seeing the trailer for this one. Simply put it looks nowhere near as entertaining as how I found the first one. Maybe I’ll be proved wrong.

Prometheus – June 8, 2012

Looking pretty mysterious….

Ridley Scott returns to the sci-fi genre after thirty years. The first time he went into space it resulted in 1979’s Alien. He followed that sci-fi excursion with Blade Runner in 1982. You can start to see why fans are so eager to see what’s in store for them this third time.

The crew of a spaceship lands on a distant planet whose inhabitants once visited earth. And then…..stuff happens. It looks to be a lot of screaming, running, and just overall panic with some epic space spectacle taking place.

Ok, so we’ve gotten countless rumors about the story being the beginning of the Alien franchise, a very hush hush prequel. Scott would only say the film has traces of Alien DNA. What does that mean? You can’t help but let your mind wander huh? Doesn’t the anticipation just kill you!

Even in space Theron
looks hot!

The film will star Noomi Rapace as some kind of futuristic archaeologist, Michael Fassbender as an android, (and who really seems to be working his tail off, he’s in like every other movie I see!), Guy Pearce as a powerful CEO (I hope this is a more success venture into sci-fi than Lockout was) and Charlize Theron who wears a skintight space suit – nothing wrong with that!

Levity aside, there is a lot of expectations with this film from sci-fi fans. But really at this point the bar has been raised so much, that I’m wondering if the film and Scott can possibly deliver.

Plus, I always get nervous when filmmakers start talking about sequels to a film (which Scott has) before anyone has even seen it yet. So I’m trying to keep level headed about Prometheus. Let’s face it the last time a director went back to his sci-fi roots and gave us a prequel we ended up with The Phantom Menace. I’m predicting Prometheus will be more rewarding though. Or at least I really hope so….

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted 

I guess they’re just going to keep making these movies. What the heck. It’s an easy paycheck for Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and the rest of the voice cast.

This time the group join a traveling circus and I guess funny stuff happens. Kids apparently like these flicks. I don’t really have any interest in them. I saw a bit of the first one. Never saw the second one, so most likely will never see this one.

Rock of Ages – June 15, 2012

I’ve never gotten caught up with all the Tom Cruise’s antics on talk shows and his personal life that seem to capture everyone’s attention. I’m just interested in seeing him make good movies. He can jump on as many couches as he wants, just as long he makes a good, entertaining film once in awhile.

He seemed back to doing that with Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Now he’ll be showing up alongside Paul Giamatti, Russel Brand, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the film adaptation of the broadway musical.

Fans of the 1980’s ears should really perk up at this. Not only will the film feature the clothes and hairstyles that are so fondly remembered (yes, I know it’s weird, but it’s true – they are indeed fondly remembered by some people), but it will also feature some of the kick ass hard-rocking music that made the hair band era so memorable.

I’m not a big fan of musicals, but based on the trailer, this looks to be one I might indeed enjoy. If it’s a success it could be another beat in the resurgence that the musical genre has enjoyed in recent years (Moulin Rogue, Mamma Mia, Dreamgirls, Chicago)

That’s My Boy – June 15, 2012

Oh boy…..

If there was a movie I would bet my life on not seeing this year it would be this one. I don’t hide the fact I am nor ever been a fan of Adam Sandler. I just don’t get him or why he is so popular. I am however fascinated by his projects, how dreadful they look, but despite that the majority of them end up being successful. Jack and Jill looked to be one of the most atrocious films ever made, but it did make money. Go figure.

This time out the set up is while in elementary school, Sandler had sex with his teacher, she had a baby and thirty years later now an obnoxious loser gearing up for a prison stint he reconnects with his son now played by Adam Samberg.

It looks to have all the benchmarks of Sandler films from the past – juvenile humor, slapstick humor and Sandler putting on an annoying voice the entire time. I suppose Sandler fans will like it and make it another Sandler hit. The only thing I’ll enjoy will be reading the scathing and entertaining reviews I predict the film will earn.

I’m already envisioning complaints about the depiction of a thirteen year old having sex with his teacher. Certain people will probably find it irresponsible and tasteless and not exactly as funny as it will be played here.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer – June 22, 2012

Being a rail splitter sure comes in
handy dealing with the undead

One film project that I’ve been awaiting for years has been Steven Spielberg’s biopic of Abraham Lincoln. It has been rumored and talked about for a long time and I thought the casting of Liam Neeson as Honest Abe was a great choice.

Inevitably, Spielberg’s Abe will be played by Daniel Day Lewis and released later this year. However I still thought Neeson could have made a great Abe and when he got passed for the real story I was hoping maybe he could do this one. Alas, Neeson as Abe was not meant to be…at least for now.

This different take on Honest Abe is produced by Tim Burton and directed by Timur Bekmambetov, it’s based on the popular novel that recounts Lincoln’s secret life of saving the country from blood suckers between all his presidential duties.

Benjamin Walker stars as our 16th President (supposedly beating out Nicholas Cage for the part). It’s certainly an odd blend of historical and fantasy and I can’t imagine the film taking itself too seriously with this premise. Vampires are all the rage right now and a fresh, unique story could be a hit with movie fans. It could offer up a fun blending of real American history with vampire lore. OR it could just result in a complete mess of a movie that has a funny title.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World

Steve Carell & Kiera Knightly

Steve Carell (Who is really sorely missed at The Office! I mean, really badly!) and Kiera Knightly spend the last remaining few weeks the planet has left before an asteroid wipes us out. Sounds like an odd comedy.

The trailer actually looks funny. Mundane situations and settings are given a whole new warped perspective given the upcoming Armageddon. Like really, who would think TGIF’s would still be open?

Plus, there are hints of a darker tone to it. That would actually make sense given the circumstance the characters and the world is placed in. It’s an interesting premise and with luck it will result in a funny story with two characters we get to know and care about. Could an end of the world movie possibly be uplifting?

 To Rome With Love

Allen directing Cruz

What would be a year without a new Woody Allen film? In keeping with the success of Midnight in Paris, Allen’s story doesn’t focus on his usual favorite setting New York, but again stays in Europe, this time the locale is Rome (obviously).

Allen’s again assemble an impressive cast. For a long time actors would kill to work with him. Pay and screen time don’t even factor into their decisions. This time his film stars Ellen Page, Jesse Eisenberg, Penelope Cruz, Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Judy Davis, Carol Alt, Ornella Muti (yes, Princess Aura from Flash Gordon!) and Allen himself back in front of the camera.

Allen can be hit or miss, so there’s no telling what fans can expect from his Roman holiday. I will predict there will be some beautiful locations featured, some scenes consisting of conversations and characters walking. Perhaps there will be some older music played too.

Magic Mike – June 29, 2012

Tatum working his mojo

Channing Tatum stars as a male stripper named Magic Mike who recruits a new member into his all-male revue. Yeah, it doesn’t sound like too many young male fans will be lining up to see this. They’ll be wondering “where are the superheroes and explosions…?”

With Steven Soderburgh directing this may not be as simple and superficial a story as it might sound. Soderburgh is an interesting director, always changing genres and doing some pretty unexpected work.

I just recently watched his 2011 action film Haywire and thought it was pretty good. So Magic Mike seems like it could fit right in on his eclectic resume. I surely don’t expect this will be as dopey a look at the dancing, stripping world as the 1996 Striptease.

Regardless of the quality of it though, I think it’s really a tough sell during the summer movie season and moviegoers will most likely be more apt to see Tatum in his other film releasing the same day….

G.I. Joe: Retaliation 

Snake Eyes and Roadblock face off

Like most sequels nowadays there’s no ‘Part 2’ in the title, but just an added name to it. I don’t know when that trend started. Probably better not to remind this is a sequel to the first one anyway.

Hoping to eliminate the bitter taste of the 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra from fans mouths, this one adds Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as Roadblock, who seems to be the lead. Tatum returns as Duke, but doesn’t seem to have much screen time. Ray Park returns as fan favorite Snake Eyes. Adrianne Palicki (TV’s aborted Wonder Woman) is Lady Jaye And Bruce Willis hops aboard the team as General Joe Colton.

Bruce Willis??? REALLY???

When I saw the trailer and saw Willis was going to be in this I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that this series was able to get him….or that he agreed to it! He must of had some major downtime or something.

This time out Cobra command is trying to take over the world (actually that’s what they always do, but anyway…). The G.I. Joe’s are wiped out, but luckily there are a few survivors from the Joe team who go about saving the world and taking down Cobra.

With any luck this followup fixes a lot of the problems that plagued the first film. Already based on the trailer it looks to be sticking with what it really should focus on action-wise – guns, martial arts and real, authentic explosions. Leave the CGI stuff to Transformers.

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1 Response

  1. Numinous says:

    Promethus is the only one I'll be seeing in the cinema. The novelty of the trailer footage has worn-off now and I'm wondering if there is really a script in place that justifies this film, or if it's another 'give the audience something that's marketable immediately' project. I realise trailers are edited a certain way, but I'm not really detecting any underlying 'Ingredient X' feel about this film. It looks very expensive, but I have a feeling the script is routine.

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