Valen-Swine’s Day!

Valen-Swines Day Cheaters
Happy Valen-swine’s Day!

Okay, Valentine’s Day is coming up. You know the cliches: Flowers, Candy, anything shaped like a heart <3. (Why don’t they ever sell anything shaped like an actual heart? It would be perfect to give to your valentine if they were a heart surgeon!)

Anyway, I just learned about this holiday that arrives the night before Valentine’s Day. It’s called Valen-Swine’s Day. Now I’ve never heard of this before, but apparently it’s very popular with the cheating crowd.

It works like this: your having an affair or cheating or have a mistress or whatever you want to call it. You want to keep your companion of sin happy. However, you can’t spend V-Day with them, that’s reserved for your “True Love”. So, the night before, February 13th you go out with the “Other Woman/Man” for a romantic, secretive and immoral night of celebration.

I saw a newsreport about this. Supposedly restaurants do some nice business that night. One place was actually promoting itself as a very low key place, where no questions are asked and your privacy will be protected. It’s dimly lit and you can get private booths. Your antenna might go up if your “honey” says their busy on the 13th.

It’s very different from when you were in school, cutting out a heart-shaped card, slipping it into someones desk, asking to be their valentine. Maybe you would give them some of those heart-shaped candies to sweeten the deal. Now knowing about Valen-Swine’s Day there’s suspicion, looking for stray hairs on their coat, lipstick on the collar, phone calls late at night. Next step is hiring a private investigator to tail them around town. Hearing stuff like this makes me think twice of being too trusting.

Now that Valen-Swine’s Day is becoming a more popular underground holiday and the words getting out, I would think cheating couples would pass on going out that night. Maybe they can put it off for a week or two just to draw less suspicion by the ‘cheat-e’. What’s the rush, why take the risk? Is it really neccesary to go out as close as possible to Valentine’s Day?

In my mind it would be kinda dumb to go out for a night of carnal antics with my harem, getting home, trying to explain why I smell like I took a tour thru a perfume factory and trying to convince her the fact that it being Valen-Swine’s Day is a complete coincidence.

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